21 Reasons Not To Have Kids

21 Reasons not to have kids

- For those who already have children past this age, this is hilarious.
- For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
- For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX. Things I've learned from my children

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words, "Uh-oh", it's already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a four-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool, you still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy, and cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
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11 Reasons To Give Microsoft’s Vista a Chance

11 Reasons to give Microsoft’s Vista a chance

by Dean Takahashi
San Jose Mercury News

PopWire: News, Reviews and Commentary

Little things matter.

Vista, the new computer operating system from Microsoft, is a collection of little improvements that will save you a lot of time and grief in your daily computing.

Microsoft is billing Vista as making it “easier, safer and more fun” to use your PC. Nobody can be sure that Vista delivers on this until it’s battle-tested in the real world, but early tests by millions of guinea pigs so far suggests Vista meets its goals. It’s the first real makeover of Microsoft’s Windows operating system for computers since Windows XP debuted in 2001.

Consumer versions of Vista debut Jan. 30: Home Basic for $199 and Home Premium for $239. Ultimate, for $399, is for power users or small businesses. I’ve played around with Vista on four different machines and know enough to say what I like about it.

It hasn’t crashed on me. On reliability, compatibility or security, it should be better than previous versions of Windows, says Joel Durham, author of “Windows Vista Ultimate Bible,” (Wiley, 2007) an upcoming book on the most expensive version of Vista. We’ll find out for sure once hardware and software companies finish shipping thousands of “drivers,” or programs that ensure Vista works with the computer’s hardware.

When I asked Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates how he felt about developing Windows Vista over five years, he said, “Best $6 billion I ever spent.” Is it worth your money? Well, lucky for Bill, it is.

Here are 11 reasons why:

1. When you move your mouse over the borders, you’ll find they’re a little thicker so it isn’t as hard to grab them and expand the size of a window. On the side of the screen, you can find useful options on the Windows Sidebar, where you can view the icons for “gadgets” _ mini-programs connected to the Internet. The icons for the gadgets are always visible on the right side of your screen; they deliver live information such as news headlines, the time in certain cities or local traffic.

2. Maneuvering with 3-D effects on the screen is a novelty in the Windows world, even if it isn’t new to Apple Macintosh users. If you hold the Tab and Windows keys down (as long as you’re not using the low-end Basic version), Vista takes all of your open Web pages and presents a sideways 3-D view of them.

This feature is called Flip 3D and is part of the so-called Aero Glass 3-D effects that aren’t present in the Windows Vista Home Basic edition. The pages run by as if you were rotating a Rolodex. The edges of open pages are also translucent, so you can more easily see what page is nested behind another one.

3. With the “preview pane,” you have the ability to preview files and Web pages before you open them. If you put the mouse arrow over a Web page tab at the bottom of the screen, it will present a “live thumbnail” mini-view of the page so you can tell quickly if you really want to open it. The same goes for files in the My Documents folder.

4. Search ability is integrated throughout the operating system so you can search for something inside any folder or dialog box. There is always a search field to use wherever you are in the system, and Vista remembers your most recent or frequent searches.

Thanks to the U.S. Justice Department, you can easily change your default search engine from Microsoft’s search tool to Google’s or a host of others. (Just click the arrow tab in the search box.) It comes with Internet Explorer 7.0, but you can also change the browser.

5. Vista has a built-in version of the Windows Media Center user interface, which was once a separate version of Windows XP. The Media Center interface has large print viewable from 10 feet away and has a menu system that you can navigate via a TV remote control. It allows you to navigate through movies or music stored on your PC and view them on a TV screen.

Microsoft has deals to allow you to download movies to your computer or get unique sports information from providers such as Fox Sports. The interface does things like automatically downloads album art to go with your music files. It’s easy to hook up devices such as Microsoft’s Xbox 360 video game console so you can retrieve a video stored on your PC and play it on a TV connected to the Xbox 360.

6. I like the built-in parental controls that you once had to install on your own. With Vista, you can create a series of users for each member of the family and limit what your children can do.

You can limit permission so that your child can’t play Mature-rated games on the computer. You can prevent a child from Web browsing, chatting with strangers or downloading a file without your permission. And you can even set the times when it is OK for your child to be using the computer.

7. Vista comes with DirectX 10, graphics software that enables game developers to pack more action into 3-D animated games. With the Game Explorer, which is a kind of folder just for games, you no longer have to look through a bunch of menus to start a game.

8. If you have the bad habit of not backing up your PC, there are fewer excuses with Vista. The Backup and Restore Center lets you do that with a click on one button.

You can choose whether you want to back up to a Universal Serial Bus flash drive, a secondary hard disk on your computer, or a server connected to the same network as your PC. You can even roll back the clock on version changes to your documents in case you want to recover an altered document.

9. One of the big improvements in Vista is the Windows photo gallery. You can easily take the “red eye” out of photos by clicking on someone’s eyes and dragging a box around them with the mouse. You can even merge two photos into one with the basic tools that are built into Vista.

You can organize your photos by tagging them with categories such as “wildlife” or “family.” The photo gallery also organizes photos by date taken, ratings or public pictures that you can share with everyone who uses the machine. You can print photos to your printer or send them off to a Web-based photo printing service.

10. The best-looking feature of Windows Vista is Dream Scene, a cute visual detail that Microsoft kept secret until Bill Gates’ keynote Jan. 14 at the Consumer Electronics Show. With Windows Vista Ultimate, the high-end $399 version of the operating system, you can set any video as the background wallpaper of your computer.

If you have video of a waterfall, for example, you can always see it running in the background as you do any task, even when your screen saver isn’t running. This is known as an “extra” for Windows Vista Ultimate, meaning it is available as a separate download after Jan. 30. It requires a good graphics card and plays only Windows Media or MPEG (Motion Picture Experts Group) files.

11. One feature guaranteed to save a few years from your life is that you can change the default on how to either put the computer to sleep or to shut it down with a single mouse click. No more questions like, “Turn off computer?” when you click to shut down.
Dean Takahashi writes the “Tech Talk” column for the San Jose Mercury News. He can be reached at dtakahashi at mercurynews.com.

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50 Reasons Why EMINEM Is Bad For Music

  1. Bigotry

    Eminem is famous for rampant anti-Semitism. His recent hit Without Me complains "...well the FCZ won't let me be," apparently referring to the Founder's Conspiracy of Zionists, a supposed secret jewish mind-control plot often mentioned in Neo-Nazi literature. Why doesn't somebody take him to task on this?

  2. The numbers don't lie

    Eminem is rap's most popular artist; but a 1998 University of Chicago study proved rap is the least enjoyable form of popular music, scoring an 8.6 on the Henderson Audiological Enjoyment Scale. By comparison, the study found 60's rock scored a 14.2, Classical music scored a 16.9, and the study demonstrated a solid 22.4 for ska.

  3. Why isn't this man in jail?

    Eminem confesses to several murders in his lyrics (see Bonnie and Clyde '97) and after more than five years of an intensive homicide investigation, police still have no evidence that Eminem did not participate in the murder of rapper Tupac Shakur.

  4. He's a fraud

    Listen closely to the beautiful chorus of the song Stan. Do you hear it? That's not Eminem's voice. Why don't you give credit to whoever really did the singing, Mr. Eminem? I guess Eminem is too young to have heard of Milli Vanilli.

  5. Sexism

    Women are nothing but mindless receptacles for sex in Eminem's world, as evidenced by his current hit Hot in Here where he issues these commands: "It's getting hot in here... so take off all your clothes." In the chorus a female voice responds in submission, "I'm gonna take my clothes off." A terrifying look into a misogynist fantasy.

  6. Read between the lines

    Some of the lyrics in another recent hit, Closet, could be interpreted as being insulting to his mother (his mother being Michigan Senator Wilma Shady).

  7. Get the man a therapist

    Eminem brags in his lyrics that he has named his genitalia "Haley" and refers to it constantly in his latest songs.

    And we pay to listen?

  8. Get the man a therapist part 2...

    The "Haley" references include this bizarre and deeply disturbing threat toward his mother:

    "Ma.... Haley's getting so big now, you should see her, she's beautiful

    But you'll never see her, she wont even be at your funeral!

  9. Get the man a therapist, part 3...

    Did you notice that the famously homophobic Eminem refers to his penis as "she?" Why can't we get help for this man?

  10. Worse than stealing

    Enormous sales of Eminem albums in recent years have detracted from those of far superior artists, such as Elvis Costello and Indigo Girls. Why haven't they filed a lawsuit?

  11. Read between the lines, part 2

    If you listen closely to Without Me Eminem threatens musician Moby that "You could get your ass kicked." At best this is a reference to vindictive animal cruelty, at worst it's a curse word and should not be allowed in music. If you interpret it as the latter, replace the "a" above with an asterisk.

  12. Bigotry, part 2

    In Without Me Eminem also refers to something "...even worse then the little Limp Bizkit bastards." I've spoken to several of my colleagues who say "Limp Bizkit" is rap slang for Jews. Eminem is obviously referring to Jewish children who are abandoned by their fathers before marriage. If Mr. Eminem could see through his hate long enough to do some research, he'd find that illegitimacy rates are remarkably low among the Jewish population.

  13. Why isn't he in jail? Part 2

    Eminem's song from a few years ago, Cop Killer, encouraged violence against police and is considered one of the ugliest pieces of music ever written.

  14. Did I mention he should be in jail?

    In Closet Eminem proudly declares, "I got skeletons in my closet." It is widely thought by me that this is the skeleton of Tupac Shakur. Have the police not heard this? Wouldn't this song be grounds for a search warrant?

  15. A life wasted

    Why did Eminem feel the need to spread hatred to the world when he made a good living in the early 90's working as a male model?*

    *In the 1991 Sears Christmas Catalog, page 206, the hands holding the Nintendo Gameboy belong to a young Eminem.

  16. Original? Hardly

    The song The Real Slim Shady is a cover of the Roy Orbison song of the same name, released in 1976.

    1. We will continue!
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    10 Reasons To Take A Walk

    “I have two doctors, my left leg and my right.”
    - George Trevelyan

    What if there was a miracle pill that if you took it each day would give you a 20% less chance of getting cancer, a 30% less chance of getting heart disease, a 50% less chance of diabetes, and would help you live longer and healthier into old age. How much would you pay for it?

    Wouldn’t you insist your children, parents, and loved ones take it, too?

    Well, according to some health studies published in major medical journals an hour a day of walking will reap all of these health benefits for you.

    Millions of people seem to think that if they can’t join a spa and spend a lot of time working out, they might as well forget about health benefits from exercise. Yet, that isn’t true. Dr. Russell Pate of the University of South Carolina says:

    “I think we have to officially sanction the idea that a nice, comfortable walk around the block after dinner is a very desirable thing to do.”

    There’s no doubt about it, walking is good for you. It’s good for your heart, it’s good for your lungs, it’s good for the muscle and bone growth and it’s good for your feeling of wellbeing!

    Walking is one of the most beneficial forms of “daily activity” and type of exercise which we can do that carries the least risk! Just about all of us can do it; we all know how to do it; we can do it almost everywhere, anytime, and as a form of exercise it offers us lots of variety. What more can we ask for?

    So, here are ten reasons to take a walk:

    1. General Health And Longevity

    Regular participation in physical activity like walking is associated with reduced mortality rates for both older and younger adults. In other words, walkers live longer!

    In particular, walking has a high impact on cardiovascular disease. Fit and active individuals have around half the risk of cardiovascular disease compared to unfit inactive people. This level of risk is similar to smoking, high blood pressure or high cholesterol in causing heart disease.

    Fit walkers are less likely to fall and suffer injuries such as hip fractures because the bones are strengthened; less likely to sustain injury because joints have a better range of movement and muscles are more flexible; less prone to depression and anxiety; tend to be good sleepers; and are better able to control body weight.

    For general health, a total of 30 minutes of brisk walking, preferably all days of the week, are recommended by experts.

    2. Lose Weight

    Control of body weight occurs when the calories taken in as food are balanced with the calories expended through walking and other physical activities. The key issue for weight control is to maximize the total volume of calories used, and to combine this with healthy eating.

    We can break it up by adding an extra block, an extra flight of stairs, a longer walk to the car. Do we live in an urban area? Let’s go to the store instead of ordering in! Do we have a problem with evening snacking? Let’s take a walk!

    Walking at a moderate pace burns calories and if we walk for longer periods of time even slowly, we will burn more body fat. Our body uses fat for its slow burning energy requirements. Think a few calories here and there won’t add up? Think again! An extra 100 calories a day burned by walking can amount to a 10lbs weight loss in one year without really trying.

    3. Mental Health

    Walking has been shown to improve self esteem, relieve symptoms of depression and anxiety, and improve mood. Walking, particularly in pleasant surroundings, and with other people, offers many opportunities for relaxation and social contact.

    Fresh air, a few deep breaths, and a break in our indoor environment can bring more oxygen to our brain, give a glow to our skin and give us a few minutes to de-stress!

    4. Gain Aerobic Power

    Regular exercise carried out three times a week for 30 minutes or more at the right intensity will result in increases of aerobic power.

    Even 10-minute brisk walks can increase fitness, provided that they are brisk enough. One study at Loughbrough University found that women walking continuously for 30 minutes 5 days a week had almost identical increases in fitness as women who split their 30 minutes into three 10-minute walks. Perhaps even more encouraging was that the short walkers lost more weight and reported greater decreases in waist circumference than the long walkers.

    5. Reduce Risk of Glaucoma and Cancer

    Dr. Michael Passo of Oregon Health Sciences University has found that starting a walking program lowered the intraocular pressure of 40 sedentary individuals, which decreased their risk of glaucoma.

    Also a large study of 80,000 men and women in Scandinavia in the 1970’s uncovered the role of walking and other exercise in preventing colon cancer. Moderate recreational activity was enough to bring a 40% reduction in the risk of colon cancer among women. The theory is that walking, by speeding up the speed up the passage of ingested foods through the colon, gives less time for carcinogens in the food to be in contact with the intestinal lining.

    6. Lowers Blood Sugar

    Researchers have found that hills are good both ways. Uphill gives you a cardiovascular workout and lowers triglycerides, but downhill has now proven superior for lowering blood sugar levels. Do either to reduce LDL cholesterol. Dr. Heinz Drexel reported his findings to the American Heart Association Scientific Sessions in November, 2004.

    7. Walk Away From Colds

    Can regular walking keep you from suffering the misery of colds? Studies suggest that it can.

    One study of 50 women divided them into a group who walked briskly for 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week, and a control group that did not exercise. The walkers experienced half as many colds as the control group. The walkers also showed an increase in natural killer cells, immune system cells that attack bacteria and viruses.

    8. Boost Energy

    Walking require energy, as does everything. In addition to expending energy, however, physical activity also gives people increased energy throughout the entire day.

    The immune system, too, gets a big boost from regular walking. A healthy immune system helps fight diseases, and speeds recovery from all kinds of injuries. The less time a person is ill, the more energy a person has to spend on living well.

    9. Feel Calmer and Sleep Soundly

    Physical activity like walking can make you feel more alert during the day, but it also makes you feel calmer and sleep more soundly. When people are active, their body temperature rises and warms their insides. This soothes the body, like a warm bath, and causes a person to feel calmer. This feeling, along with the lower anxiety and stress and physical benefits of walking, helps a person to sleep soundly at night.

    10. Endorphins: The Natural High

    When a person is physically active or is brisk walking for a certain period of time - about 20 minutes or longer - the body releases endorphins, proteins in the brain that act as the body’s natural pain reliever. When endorphins are released, a person may experience a feeling of euphoria. Many people enjoy this feeling and look forward to the natural high they get from keeping physically fit.

    Whatever your reasons for walking, it offers many benefits to improve your life. And because it is low impact, walking can have a definite advantage over such activities as running and aerobics. As a result, there is less chance of injury to joints and muscles. Indeed, walking is the number one activity recommended by fitness experts.

    So, for your well-being, take a walk!

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    Top 5 Reasons to Not Become an Entrepreneur


    Yesterday I promised to even things out in my post on the Top 5 Reasons to Become an Entrepreneur. Today I write on why not to become an entrepreneur. This is a tougher topic for me to write authentically as I’ve been playing entrepreneur for the past four years and have no real desire to turn back. Consequently this article took me twice as long to write. I also found myself elaborating more as I poured more and more thought into each point. The result is what I feel are the top 5 cons of entrepreneurship.

    #5 The Work

    Put simply it never stops. As an entrepreneur you cannot ever run out of things to do until the business is gone. If you aren’t busy ordering supplies, tracking inventory, getting the books in order, finding customers, finding advertising space, working out glitches in the product, negotiating with a supplier, negotiating with a customer, seeking funding, optimizing your website, figuring out payroll, or one of thousands of other tasks out there then you can be refining your business plan to maximize growth.

    In some periods I put as many 15 hours a day into my business, and looking back I didn’t always get 15 hours of work out of it. The book Getting Things Done is one of the key materials that has taught me how to make the most of my work time and allowed me to have a personal life at all. I am in the process of reading it for the third time and can partly attribute so many successes to the advice in it. For $10 it’s practically free.

    #4 The Investment

    A business isn’t started for free. The financial commitment can be significant if you are opening a store or be as little as the cost of a domain name and web hosting (if you seek these things for a business venture then get in touch with me). The former is a lot more likely than the latter, so there is start-up capital you must find and odds are its coming out of your pocket or a loan secured by your most prized assets.

    However the money invested is only part of the equation. You also have to examine your opportunity cost. What is your next best alternative for the money and time you put into the business? What kind of retirement fund will you have on a $5000 investment with the power of compounded interest? What sort of income are you losing by putting your time into this venture instead of your next best alternative?

    #3 The (lack of a) Pay Cheque

    A regular pay cheque is a lovely thing to have. It pays bills, buys food, and makes sure you can always get those nice consumer comforts like the latest gadget or DVD. With the popularity of direct deposit, money just “appears” in your account every two weeks.

    When you are starting up such a regular pay cheque is very difficult to get. If you are lucky enough to have an outside investment that pays you a salary or have enough revenue coming in to be able to always pay yourself a certain amount (and invest the rest in the business) then you at least have regular income in the short-term. In the long-term the only way that cheque will keep coming is if your company continues to succeed.

    Most likely you will be taking a severe pay cut, and without outside funding you are risking no money coming in at all. Unfortunately the companies issuing your bills won’t be very understanding about this.

    #2 The Risk

    You take on risk when you start a business. This risk, like with other investments, is why that coveted upside exists. Points 3 and 4 wouldn’t be a big deal if you were always guaranteed to succeed. Instead you must do your absolute best, make the decisions you believe are right, and accept that your life will be pot marked with failures (and valuable lessons).

    I had the opportunity to listen to Jim Estill speak recently, and one of the major points he emphasized was “Fail Fast and Fail Cheap”. You cannot avoid taking risks in business, and consequently you can’t avoid failures.

    #1 The Discomfort

    As human beings we tend to find change uncomfortable, but there isn’t much room to be in a placid comfortable nook when you’re an entrepreneur. You must constantly be willing to try new things, make decisions without nearly enough information, and the worst fear inducer of all, take risks. The very nature of this kind of life prevents you from hitting the standby button on your brain and just slogging through the work handed to you oblivious to its meaning or consequences (not that this is how all employees work all the time - it’s just you have that beautiful option). Having to constantly grow, change, and do things out of the ordinary can bring on terrible fear along with excitement. Your outlook on life, the acceptance of your previous “40 hour work week” peer group, and the role you play in determining your future will all be drastically different.

    Every other entrepreneur I have spoke to mentions that entrepreneurship is a roller coaster of emotions - it will be the source of your highest highs and your lowest lows. That’s definitely been the case for me and every business owner I have ever met. Riding a roller coaster 24 hours a day… not something everyone wants.

    There’s are a lot left to hit on the entrepreneurship issue. Stay tuned for part 3 where we break away from lists!


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